IF...

If I was in Paris right about now I would be drinking coffee but I am drinking tea.
If I was in Paris I would be going to this exhibition.
If I was in Paris I would be trying to make a reservation here.
If I was in Paris I would have bought Loic Prigent's Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton documentary DVD from Colette. If I had been in Paris I would have seen it on the telly for free.

But I am not. So